When elder care becomes elder abuse
This article first appeared in the Minden Times and Haliburton Echo in April 2026.
The Toronto Star’s coverage of a current court case has slit the belly and exposed the entrails of the absolute unpreparedness of the legal system – and perhaps society more broadly -- to deal with the nastier aspects of elder care.
Here is the story, based on reportage on April 11/26 by Betsy Powell and an opinion piece by Rosie Dimano: 73-year-old Eva Samonas, a frail, diminutive, retired clerical worker, was charged with negligence causing the death in January 2024 of her frail, 90-pound, 96-year-old mother, Vasiliki Atonasovski. Vasiliki slipped off the sofa and remained sitting on the floor for two nights and three days before emergency workers took her to hospital, where she died. A large open sore on her buttocks was contaminated by the urine and feces in which she sat those three days.
Eva did not have legal representation; her case was presented by an Amicus Curiae (friend of the court) whose job is to ensure the judge has exposure to both sides of the case.
Her defense is that she couldn’t move her mother and misapprehended the danger of her remaining there. Her mother was diagnosed in 2017 with dementia, was paranoid, stubborn, a life-long hoarder who refused to allow her belongings to be tidied, refused to be bathed, hit Eva with a stick and had locked her out of the house.
Eva said her mother ‘often’ sat on the floor and refused attempts to move her, even had Eva been physically able. She would not allow Eva to call 911 because she thought, once removed, she would never return to the house (almost certainly true, given the hoarding, disorder and disrepair of the apartment).
Eva’s brother, who had ‘abdicated responsibility’ in 2022 (perhaps when Eva’s partner died and she came to live with her mother) ‘did what he always did and left [Eva] to figure it out on her own’. Another male relative and a male neighbour refused Eva’s requests for help because they feared injuring the frail old woman. They suggested Eva call 911 but did not do it themselves.
When EMS attended, Vasiliki was near death. She was taken to hospital and Eva was charged with failing her duty of care.
This raises a dust-storm of questions.
Is/how is adult children’s duty of care for their parents the same as parental duty of care for children? Is caring a legal obligation? A moral obligation?
How does a daughter acquire and retain a duty of care when her brother can abdicate his?
What rights to support are associated with assuming a duty of care, given a medical diagnosis nine years prior that includes an expectation of some of the problematic behaviours?
On what basis did the prosecutor claim that Eva had ‘responsibility to make decisions’ and ‘controlled her mother’s life’?
Which elder, in this situation, was abused and which was the abuser?
I do not envy Justice Jane Kelly the responsibility of addressing these questions, to be delivered by May, within the constrictions of law.
She may acknowledge the limitations of the black/white, guilty/not guilty, if this/then that linearity of law to accommodate the greyness of humanity.
All mothers are not loving or loved. Neither are all daughters. Nor all sons. Nor all fathers.
All caregivers are not caring or skilled.
Responsibility is not synonymous with control.
Medical diagnosis does not guarantee treatment or investment.
All neglect is not abuse.
Abuse can be intentional, emotional as well as physical, delivered by the frail and victimized.
We would all like this story to be a one-off, an unbelievable and rare confluence of circumstances.
I doubt it is.
I expect it will become much more common as burgeoning need meets declining resources, and more caregivers are trapped in circumstances they cannot manage, with no off-ramps evident.
Surely we can do better. The question is: will we?
